You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
