The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
