I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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