when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
