Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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