I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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