so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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