you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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