I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
