Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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