"it" just moved
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
