Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
