i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
