As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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