i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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