someone get that fucking seahorse.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
