3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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