Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
