you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
