As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
