chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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