he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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