He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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