READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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