Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
