do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
