This girl is more easily done than said...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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