Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
