Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
