We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize