I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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