This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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