I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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