I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
