i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
