I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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