shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
