i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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