I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
