Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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