Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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