i already hear my dad disowning me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
