He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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