so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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