Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think a kid would responsible me up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize