YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
