So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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