Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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