So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
