Life is so much better after having sex.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You were trust falling into bushes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
