I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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