And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
