Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
