Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
