I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
