we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
