ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
PANTIES FOUND
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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