ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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