he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You took a bar mat shot.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
