I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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