You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
