I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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