do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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