Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
