We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
