i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
