It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Terrible idea I love it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize