We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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