I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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