I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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