I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
