I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
