david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize