how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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